Marriage is the union of a man and a woman, this union occurs at the family level (traditional), court level (legal) and off course at the religious level. I always joke that women tie their husbands with three strong ropes; so anyone who is contemplating divorce should think of the three ropes.
Even when single, life is quite stressful not to talk of a situation where two people from two very different backgrounds now have to share the same flat/house. Below are some of the stressors (causes of stress) in a marriage:
1.Finances
Money does not bring happiness but contributes immensely to happiness; the ability to meet your financial needs such as rent/mortgage, food, school fees, healthcare, and so on reduces tension in any household.
People differ in the manner money is managed, some are so free with money without thinking of a raining day. Some wives need so much money to run the home and this can be a source of friction in the home.
Consequently, there is less tension in a house where both husband and wife work and earn reasonably well, studies have shown that educated couples divorce less often than uneducated couples partly because there is more money in the family.
2.Children
The arrival of children can cause stress in a family for several reasons; more work to be done in the house, more money required to feed the additional mouths. Because the wife has to spend of a lot of time caring for the children the husband may feel neglected, some husbands are unable to handle such situation with understanding expected of them as the children belong to the husband and the wife.
3.In-laws
Some in-laws can be a pain in the neck to the wife due to some archaic traditional beliefs/customs. A mother in-law should see the daughter in-law as her biological daughter, should guide and protect her, help her where she is weak. In the same vein, the wife should see and treat her mother in-law as her biological mother.
The husband must be protective of the wife, protect her from out dated beliefs and traditions.
4.Work Commitment
Over commitment to work or business can be a stressor; the couple will be left with little or no time to spend quality rest together, the children suffer from parental neglect. Anyone who is successful in his/her career or business but has no time for his/her home is a failure.
We must be able to share our time between our work and our family and that applies to the wife and the husband.
5.Difficult behavior
By difficult behavior we are referring to smoking, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, untidiness and even careless use of the toilet by one party. Husbands are usually the culprits. A change removes this stressor.
6.Physical changes
With age, pregnancies, unhealthy diet and lack of exercise, couples tend to pad up with fat especially the women. Some women forget themselves, they no longer take care of themselves from hair dressing, clothing to make-up. The men sometimes also begin to look like pregnant women due to fat deposit in their abdomen.
Meanwhile a man is attracted by what he sees while a woman is attracted more by what she hears. You can complete the story from here.
7.Sexual problems
The couple may not have the same sexual appetite, some men want to have sex everyday, a lot women do not because of official work and domestic chores which sap their energy.
Men prefer sex in the morning while women prefer the night.
Sometimes rejection creeps in, the man who is usually the attacker feels rejected when the wife says she is tired for sex often, a mid-way ; a comprise must be found.
As the couple gets older other sexual problems will arise but a good understanding and a visit to the doctor can always solve the problem.
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